POMETTO: Good news for singles - Redefining ‘vocation’

May 28, 2019

Have you ever given a perfect gift? I was recently in Wisconsin visiting family for my nephew’s First Communion and remembered feeling disappointed with the gifts I received at my own First Communion.

What is a seven-year-old to do with several crosses and Rosaries? For Silas, my Godson, I wanted a good gift. Silas is always ready to tell a joke or make a funny face to make me laugh. As I was thinking about him, I decided to search for a religious joke book. I do not claim that it was a “perfect” gift, but when he opened it, his face lit up.

For many years now, I have believed that finding one’s vocation is a gift. It requires a call from God to a specific way of life or the grace from God to find “the one” who would make a good spouse.

As a single woman in her late 30s, I have come to accept that I just have not received this gift yet. I have often cried out to God in prayer with the hope that I would no longer be “vocation-less,” and I know I am not alone in this feeling. Especially within the Church, there are many single young adults in their late 20s and 30s who are unsure where they fit within this idea of “vocation.” For so long, the Church has not known what to say to this demographic — until now.

In his recent apostolic exhortation, Christus Vivit, Pope Francis writes: “Those who are single, even if not by their own choice … [must] remember that the first and most important vocation is the vocation we have received in Baptism” (267). The pope encourages single people to witness to this calling by pursuing holiness and personal growth.

In his recent apostolic exhortation, Christus Vivit, Pope Francis writes: “Those who are single, even if not by their own choice … [must] remember that the first and most important vocation is the vocation we have received in Baptism” (267). The pope encourages single people to witness to this calling by pursuing holiness and personal growth.

Pope Francis also desires to broaden the definition of “vocation.” In current parish life, when we “pray for vocations,” it means we are specifically praying for men to answer the call to the priesthood. If teaching a religious education class, catechists teach that “vocations” include priesthood, religious life and marriage.

This definition is true, but it promotes an understanding that there are only three options when it comes to “vocation.” This limited definition leads many single young adults to feel forgotten by God. According to Pope Francis and the recent Synod on “Young People, Faith, and Vocation Discernment,” it is time to look beyond these main three and to reframe our discussion about “vocation.”

“So often in life, we waste time asking ourselves: ‘Who am I?’ You can keep asking ‘Who am I?’ for the rest of your lives. But the real question is: ‘For whom am I?’’ (Christus Vivit, 286).

Vocation is truly about this question, “For whom am I?” For priests, their “whom” are the souls in their care. For religious, their “whom” are the members of their communities and the people they serve. For married couples, their “whom” are their spouse and children.

For single men and women, their “whom” may be found through their profession and the work they do. It may be found in their volunteer service and how they spend their free time. It may be found in the friendships they have found as adults.

Each single person should bring this question, “For whom am I?” to prayer and ask the Lord to illuminate where He is asking him/her to be a gift to others. Each single person has a vocation here and now — not just in a mysterious future after marriage or ordination.

Vocation is a gift. It is a gift from our friend, Jesus.

And just like I was able to find a gift that would make my nephew smile, Jesus wants this gift to be something that brings us joy and perfectly fits all that He made us to be. May all of us — consecrated, married and single — grow to become a people who discern this gift daily so that our lives may become a gift to others.That is the new definition of “vocation.” 


Angie Pometto is an associate director for the Office of Young Adult and Campus Ministry in the Archdiocese.